I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm really busy with my period
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