in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
