a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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