She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
