I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
