Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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