Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
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