normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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