I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
