So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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