so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Randomize
