Define "chronic" masturbator.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
