i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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