so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
