before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
