Who wears a wallet chain?!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
