I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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