Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
A+ Viking dick
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
