I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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