I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
