I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Randomize
