Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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