Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
