do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
