...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just tell him i said nine months
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize