i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
