The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
