please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
