So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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