You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
