only if we run a train.
done.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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