It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
