I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
