I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize
