Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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