no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
