he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
