it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
