so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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