We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
