I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You were trust falling into bushes
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
