I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
