Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
