ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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