Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.

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(905): View more from Toronto

Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere

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(612): View more from Minnesota

No subtext here. People are naked.

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(210): View more from Texas

I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink

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(305): View more from Florida

Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.

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(630): View more from Illinois

You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends

(310): View more from California

Pharmasutra?

(702): View more from Nevada

Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms

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