she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
