shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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