He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
