i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
