yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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