Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
