Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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