Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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