A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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