help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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