No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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