He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Randomize
