What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
