am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
