At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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