Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
