Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
