I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I supernannyed him into submission
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
