The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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