You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
